ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
