I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
