New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
