Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
