The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
