My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
