3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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