as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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