I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
