I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
