Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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