More tranny stories later!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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