So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
