Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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