god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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