Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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