Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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