do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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