i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
