Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
