He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
