How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
