It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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