Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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