oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
