oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
