Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

grandma shit on top of the toilet

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(305): View more from Florida

After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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(315): View more from New York

She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(914): View more from New York

You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.

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(817): View more from Texas

Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.

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