Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber

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(905): View more from Toronto

me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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(303): View more from Colorado

She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.

(719): View more from Colorado

this better not be you asking for a beej

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(989): View more from Michigan

I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

You did this to yourself.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.

(843): View more from South Carolina

Why is this not a picture message?

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