Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.