As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK