remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????