Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
