I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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