I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize