Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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