I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
