I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
