Don't you send me to vm
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
