thus making me awesome and them whores
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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