It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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