Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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