How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
