3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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