Is it because I queefed?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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