he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
