Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
