Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
