so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
