it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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