plz talk dirty to me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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