Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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