I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
