whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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