if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
