I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
