so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
