Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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