I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She made me pour olive oil on her.