In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me