Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.