You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.