I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.