Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???