Porn is love you can see.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought