good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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