Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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