sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
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It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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