i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize