remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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